There’s no place like home.

Friends. Let me tell you. Never underestimate the importance of having a place that’s yours to call home. Dorothy was totally onto something with those sparkly red shoes of hers. I’ve spent a lot of my adult life spending time at other people’s apartments. Mostly the boyfriend’s apartment. I always thought it was good that I was adaptable and it wasn’t a big deal that I didn’t spend much time in my own space and didn’t think it mattered too much that I still had roommates, but IT DOES. You guys, it really does. After everything I’ve been through, I FINALLY got my own apartment in February. My very own apartment with no roommates in sight and my own stuff all over everywhere.

In Act I of my epic relationship saga, my boyfriend and I decided not to get our own place and to stick with his roommates in his 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment, because it would be easier for us to save money to move out of the city and buy a house someday. We were waiting to live our dream life instead of making parts of it happen now. Or at least going for the right feeling even if the location wasn’t ultimately what we wanted for the future. I still believe this was the single biggest specific mistake of Act I and a huge factor that lead to The Intermission.

When I was on my own during The Intermission, I moved into a wonderful apartment with 2 wonderful dudes who were the BEST roommates I’ve ever had. While I’m very happy I had that experience with them, and it was amazing having friends around when I needed them, now that I have my own place, all I can say is, I WISH I HAD DONE THIS SOONER. But, I definitely wouldn’t appreciate it so much if I hadn’t waited so long. I’m writing this post to you from my couch in my apartment, and couldn’t be happier about it.

So, for those of you who are questioning whether or not it matters to have your own special place to call home: IT. MATTERS. And it needs to feel special TO YOU. If you don’t get that giddy feeling every time you come home, you gotta make some changes. I do believe it’s possible to make changes to whatever space you’re currently in to make it feel like home. My friend Jenn is a MASTER at this. She’s also a master at party planning, gift giving, and overall awesomeness, but that’s another story (or 12). Hopefully someday she’ll start her own blog so I can direct you there to read more about her awesomeness, but until then, I’m just going to keep talking about her here. One of my favorite additions I picked up from her is CANDLES. She always has candles lit all over her apartment, and it makes it feel so much more inviting. I always feel wrapped in a cloud of comfort whenever I’m at her place, and now I feel the same at mine thanks to my own candles! Pillows, throw blankets, and wall hangings/art/photographs also make a huge difference here. Ooh, and one of my other favorite things about my apartment is my water glasses. Well, I guess they could hold other liquids, but pretty much all I put in them is water. If you love whatever vessel you’re drinking your water out of, you’re more likely to drink it. And we can never underestimate the importance of hydration. 😊

So. If you’re on the fence about splurging on your living space, or deciding whether or not to get rid of your roommates- DO. IT. Make the move and you’ll make the money happen. Visualize and write down what you want and meditate on it. I did this when I was looking for my apartment and I stumbled upon my journal entry of the list of what I wanted and it LITERALLY could have been a Street Easy listing for my apartment. Manifestation works, peeps. And it’s so, SO important to feel empowered in your own space. It’s a crazy world out there, and we all need our little slice of peace to call home.

spread your wings.

...and FLY out of your comfort zone, friends! “Have faith in the unknown...and yourself.” (Jen Sincero- from her book You Are A Badasss...best.book.ever.) Meet new people, see new places, do one thing every day that scares you. I tend to see that last one everywhere. It’s on lululemon bags, in self help books (also in You Are A Badass...seriously, have you read it yet?), sometimes it falls out of the sky into my head...well, maybe not really. But it feels like that sometimes! Even though I love adventures, sometimes I get stuck in a rut where all I want to do is things that are familiar. And let me tell you, it does not feel good to hang out there for very long. Seriously, you guys, I’m really starting to think that we turn to stone if we don’t keep expanding our horizons. And who wants to turn to stone!? Maybe we don’t even have to do one thing that scares us every day, just something that’s unknown. Just to make sure we’re still alive and elastic enough to respond to new and different things coming our way.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed and just want to curl up in a ball and be surrounded by a plume of feathers from your down comforter; hang out there for a little while, drink some tea, breathe, and then get up and DO. SOMETHING. Do anything. Go to the drugstore and get that thing you keep forgetting to order from Amazon. Go to that cute shop that has that adorable tote bag in the window you keep ignoring. Go get a card for a friend you haven’t talked to in forever, write to her in a cute coffee shop and then mail it! Snail mail style.✌🏼Keep yourself elastic. You never know what The Universe has coming your way...

Some days you’ll feel like you stuck your pinky toe out of your comfort zone, and others you’ll feel like you took a GIANT LEAP. Either way, stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re leveling up. You’re raising your vibrations, your energy, your being by trying new things, putting yourself in a new environment, being a new and improved version of yourself. Exist in a constant state of learning, of bettering yourself. Everyone (including you!) will thank you. Now, drink some water, get some extra sleep, and get out there. 🙃

just keep swimming...

I’ve been through a lot in the past couple years. I mean, I‘m sure we all have, but these past few years have been especially full for me in terms of self discovery. I moved to NYC after I graduated from college. (10 years ago in October! Wow.) I decided to move here because I had majored in theatre and figured I should probably give that a shot, but really I had NO idea what to do with myself. I thought I would hate New York. If you asked me then, I would have guessed that I’d stay for 6 months and then leave and figure out what I really wanted to do with my life. Turns out, this small town girl LOVED the big city. It made me feel alive. The energy is electric. Endless possibilities any day of the week at any time. I think I finally felt like I had the space to find myself. Which is ironic, because I grew up in a small town in Vermont where there was endless actual space and more cows than people. But the city is different. The city is like an endless pulsing imagination and I was eating it up. Right after I really started digging in and figuring out who I was and what I wanted to do with this life of mine, I met a wonderful man. My biggest dream had always been to be a mom. And to find someone to share my amazing life with. When I met this guy, I thought I finally had it all figured out. I had found the perfect person to play the role of my life partner. And I stopped. I stopped the self discovery, I stopped the dreaming, and over 7 years, the relationship that was supposed to last the rest of my life, ended. I was so deeply unhappy. At the time I thought it was because of him- I was feeling unheard and unseen. I had been saying all along how much I wanted a family and after 7 years, we were no closer to what I kept saying my dream was. But, little did I know, I was the one who was killing my own dreams. I was stifling them by cramming them in a pretty little box instead of giving them air and light and love to let them grow. So, I left. As hard as it was, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I FINALLY gave myself the space I needed to grow. I read a TON of incredibly insightful books (all of which I will eventually post about here), did a ton of soul searching and ended up here. Now I stand tall with a deep understanding of who I am and what I want. Now I truly understand the importance of the journey, of always growing, and never stagnating. And, funnily enough, my journey brought me right back to that guy I always thought I’d marry. And this time around, it’s everything I thought it would be. Because, finally, I’M the person I always thought I’d be.

My dad found this Einstein quote a couple years ago while I was slugging through the deepest part of my self discovery and it’s become one of my favorites...”Life Is Like Riding a Bicycle. To Keep Your Balance You Must Keep Moving.” I’ve always been all about balance...I am a Libra, after all...but I didn’t really understand how important forward progress is to keeping the balance until now. So, I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’ve learned to dream bigger, to grow taller, and no matter what, to always, ALWAYS keep moving.

Let’s always try to do one thing each day to bring us closer to our dreams. Pick your favorite journal and make it your dream journal. Or make a vision board. Find your own way to document that which your soul craves the most. And do one thing each day to get yourself there. It can be something as small as going to the store and buying a plant, because you’ve always wanted an apartment filled with vibrant green life, or it can be as big as diving into the deep end and finally starting that blog...

What did you do today?