Quaranxiety…

…That underlying, collective feeling of anxiety we’ve all been feeling.

I’ve been having trouble putting my finger on exactly what I’ve been feeling and why I’ve been feeling it, but I finally gave it some real thought today. I’ve been mildly (and sometimes not so mildly) anxious since this whole COVID situation blew the F up. Even before anyone started going into lockdown, I was incredibly concerned by the news I was reading and was in a constant state of shock that our leaders weren’t doing anything about the escalating situation... It’s scary to be reading all these articles from experts and scientists and then having the leaders of the country and the world not leading us in a direction that’s consistent with the warnings. Especially since we can’t really do anything about it...

Even though the leaders and the scientists are (at least a little more) on the same page and we’re sheltered at home, I’m still feeling weird. (Quick pause to send a huge THANK YOU out to the healthcare and essential workers who are definitely NOT staying at home and are literally keeping the rest of us alive. Every single one of you is an amazing human and those of us at home will never be able to thank you enough for your bravery.)

Usually if I’m feeling off, I can pinpoint what’s bothering me, but this one has been harder. I’ve been trying not to think about it because everything is “fine.” I have a wonderful roof over my head, food to eat, plenty to keep me busy and sane, and people/creatures so love.  I don’t want to dwell on the negative...I’ve been trying to stay positive, but I’ve been suppressing some thoughts and feelings as a result. Not great. Apparently I should have READ my last post instead of just writing it. 🤦🏽‍♀️ So, today I realized it had gone on long enough, and I needed to do some digging to figure out where this underlying gloom was coming from. 

I realized that even if everything is “fine,” this virus really pulled the rug out from under us. Our daily lives were hard enough before when things weren’t completely changing minute to minute and hour to hour... Now SO much is unknown. Many of us have had to adapt our work lives to fit a completely different environment and many of us have lost our jobs completely. Even things as simple as going to the grocery store aren’t predictable anymore. Even the scientists, experts, and leaders don’t know what to do or think because this situation is completely unprecedented. NO WONDER I’VE BEEN EXHAUSTED AND ANXIOUS. Having to adapt to new and constantly changing situations IS exhausting, but it’s good for us, too. The ability to be resilient in the face of the unknown is a very powerful tool we can take into times of stress in the future when not all parts of our lives are quite so tumultuous. While it’s completely understandable that I’m anxious, sad, and overwhelmed about so many things right now, freaking out about what I can’t control won’t help me to harness my power to control the things I CAN. I decided to write down some things I’ve been doing in quarantine that make me feel good. Things that make me feel like I’ve accomplished something and have injected some positivity in some way out into the world...

Things to do to feel a little less grey:

1.  Meditate. This is my number one lately. I’ve been wanting to start a meditation practice for ages now, and let me tell you- all the hype? It’s real. Highly recommend the Headspace app, especially if you’re a newb. It’s a wonderful way to get started. They do a great job of walking you through the basics with a super easy (and pretty!) interface. They have short or longer options for whatever time constraints you may have that day, and soothing voiceovers to help guide you through each session. The sleep meditations are amazing, too. Meditating really helps to clear your mind of any unnecessary gunk and ground you in yourself and what you’re feeling. So, so important, especially when so much around us is in such turmoil. 

2.  Move! Exercise, dance, take a walk...do SOMETHING to get those endorphins pumping. They do a WORLD of good. It’s so, so easy to get sucked into your cocoon on the couch, but you WILL feel better if you move. I dare ya. 💪🏼 

3.  Write. Especially if you’re confused about your feelings, write them out. Write total gibberish- whatever comes to mind... You may surprise yourself by coming to a really profound conclusion about something that’s been bugging you lately just by free writing. There are a lot of great sites out there with good journal prompts if you feel like you need a little something extra to get you started, but free writing is even more cathartic, in my opinion. 

4.  Read. Let yourself get swept away with an old favorite or a new thriller or take some time to work on yourself with a personal development book. Sometimes all we need is a little time in someone else’s world to help us deal with our own. 

5.  Cook! This is definitely something that will help you feel like you’ve accomplished something and that there ARE still things in this world you can control.

6.  Call your friends and family. All the people we love most are still out there even though we can’t see them or hug them right now. And fully taking advantage of all the little slices of community and connection that are emerging in this new online world will REALLY help with any feelings of loneliness. The social part of our lives is arguably the part that has been turned upside down the most, so try to get those moments of connection with others whenever you can. Come up with fun, new things you can do with each other via FaceTime or Zoom. Play games together, talk, cook, make cocktails! If you’re looking for silver linings, you’ll get a lot of the same happy feelings you always get from hanging out with your friends, but you don’t have to get yourself home at the end when you’re exhausted. 🙃

And if you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one and are finding yourself really wishing you could talk to them, meditation can help here, too. Hold them in your mind as you close your eyes and start to breathe. See where your mind takes you as you start to drop deeper...I think you’ll find that you’ll feel a greater sense of connection with them even if you only sit with them in the meditation for a couple minutes. You can also write them a letter in your journal if that feels more right to you. They’re still out there, too. Even though you can’t see them or hug them. 💫

So, those are my musings for today. I’m glad I finally took the time to unpack the weird underlying feelings I’ve been feeling lately. It was really helpful to me to understand and acknowledge what’s been bugging me. I hope it’s helpful for you to read it. And try some of my “grey sky” tools! Writing them here for you made me feel even more grateful to have them for myself. I hope they’ll help you, too. 

☁️☔️🌞💫