HappY bIrthday to meee!

I’m writing this for you as I look out on the most beautiful view of clear turquoise water and white sand with two of my bestest friends by my side. As I reflect on another completed trip around the sun, I’ve solidified a couple important realizations that have been brewing for a while...

1.  Spend time with those you love. Those who light you up. Those who TRULY add something to your life. Don’t waste your time with people who drain your energy. We do not have enough time on this earth to waste our moments with those who aren’t contributing to helping us feel the way we want to feel. And make sure you allow yourself to actually have this time to spend with your fire starters. I’ve laughed so much in the last week and I realized I don’t do it often enough. I had a blast with my girls in NYC for a pre-birthday dinner, and then with two of my oldest and bestest friends on this trip. Laughing until crying is definitely the best birthday present I got this year. (Get the game Heads Up- really helps jumpstart the laugh fests.) And I have to thank my friend Lucy for making it all possible. She found a hotel deal in Turks and Caicos a month or so ago and asked if our friend Ross and I would go with her because she loved us and couldn’t imagine two people she’d rather take this adventure with. My knee jerk reaction was, “Oh, no. I can’t. I’m already traveling so much in October, and....” And about three seconds into that line of thought, I stopped myself and told her I was 100% in. Like I said, life is too short, people! Do the thing. Take the vacation. The money will come. Your clients won’t ditch you. The world won’t end if you’re on vacation for a couple of days. In fact, you’ll  add emit even more amazing energy after being charged up by all the positivity you’re soaking up. 

2.  Confidence. I was listening to Jenna Kutcher’s Goaldigger podcast the other day (everyone should listen- she’s amazing and the podcast is super motivating) and Jen Sincero author of one of my fave books- “You Are a Badass” (read it. Now.) was on! She’s on #282 if you want to give it a listen. She had some great insight as always, but one of my faves was, “Age is the most wonderful gift when it comes to confidence.” And it’s so true. As I get older, I realize I literally don’t have enough time to freak out about what other people think about how I’m acting or what I’m doing. I’m too focused on getting sh*t done, because I’m sick of beating around the bush and not living life the way I want to live it! She also talked about how you’ll have so much more energy to spend on things you actually give a crap about when you STOP “giving a crap” about what other people think! And I’m all for more energy. Energy efficiency, people! It’s all about saving it up when you can, not spending it on crapola you don’t care about, and soaking it up when you’re creating it with good friends, good times, and fulfilling experiences. 🎉

Oh, and go to Turks and Caicos. Even if you think you’re not really a beach person. It. Is. BEAUTIFUL. Very peaceful, relaxing, helps give you clarity and reground you by providing the perfect background for sitting in the quiet and listening to yourself. As much as I always say I’m not a beach person, the ocean really helps with this, too. Connecting with nature, whether it’s in the mountains or by the ocean, is so, SO important for me when it comes to listening to my soul. My Turks and Caicos conclusion: amazing food (Coco Bistro is the bomb dot com), service (loved staying at The Sands at Grace Bay) parasailing (hell yeaaaahhhh Captain Marvin!), snorkeling, and very easy to get to. Direct flights to and from JFK on favorite airline JetBlue. Don’t know why I haven’t been coming here my whole life. This snow bunny gives two thumbs way, way up. 👍🏼👍🏼 Oh, yeah. And wear sunscreen. 😎

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” - J.K. Rowling

This is actually a post I wrote last November and when I found it I felt like I was reading my thoughts from last night, so here it is for you to read...

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I’m sick of waiting for my dreams to happen TO me. I’ve decided to grab life by the balls and take control of the things I can control. 

I’ve always dreamed of my life in a certain way, but my life isn’t going to get like that just by thinking about it. I want kids and a fulfilling life and a job that will let me live my life the way I want to- I want to be able to be part of my kids’ lives every step of the way. I’m not entirely sure how I thought this was going to miraculously materialize, but it’s not, so I decided to change the things I could. 

Step one on the path to dream life: money. I need this miraculous job I keep imagining. I’m sick of only making enough money to get by, and I’m sick of feeling like I’m using one iota of what I’m good at, capable of, and enjoy doing. I’m sick of mostly living the life I want...MOSTLY!? Please. I’m not a mostly kind of person, so why the F am I acting like it?! MONEY itself was never “important” to me... Until I finally realized that I will never have my dream life without laying the groundwork first. The reason I’ve been so stuck is because I was trying to wish a castle into existence without taking the time to build the foundation first. 

Without realizing it, I dug a very deep hole for myself by thinking that having a family was my #1 goal. I never dreamed about any of the other specifics of my life, and so I encased myself in a pretty little box that was suffocating the very dreams I wanted to make my reality. It is so, SO important to think about the SPECIFICS of what you want, WHY you want it, how you want to FEEL when you get there (and along the way), and the steps you’re going to take to get yourself there. 

So, I got real with myself about what kind of job I wanted, how much money I wanted to make, how I wanted to make it, and I got myself here. This blog is the first step towards figuring it out. 

I’ve always wanted to help people, and the older I get, the more sick I am of watching fabulous people wander the earth not living up to their true fabulosity. So, I’m here to change that. I’ve been told my whole life that I’m very nurturing and will be a good mother someday, but until that day, I’m here to nurture you. And to give you some tough love in the form of tough questions. 

My whole adult life, I’ve been a figure skating coach. I’m great at what I do, but the moments I love most aren’t really related to skating at all. The moments I love most are the moments when I get to watch my students grow. They’ve decided to think about things in a different way- I’ve helped adult students step up and start looking for a new job because their current one is the pits; I’ve helped teenagers feel secure in their choice not to follow the “cool” kids and to keep rocking it as their weird-ass selves; I’ve helped little ones realize they’re capable of so, so much more than they ever thought possible, if they just pick themselves up and try again. And now I’m here to do that for you. So, what are YOUR dreams? And how are you stopping yourself from getting to them? What’s one step you can take today to start the ball rolling towards the life you’ve always imagined for yourself? Write down what you want. Then write down the smallest, first step you can think of that will start you down that path. It’s like the writing exercise in school where you had to explain in excruciating detail how to make a PB&J or tie your shoes. It had to be so foolproof that ANYONE picking it up could follow your directions and complete the task. So, make your directions foolproof for yourself. Be gentle with yourself- sometimes we’re not as smart as we think we are. What’s one small thing that you can ACTUALLY complete today? “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind...” Blast off into your wildest dreams by taking that one small step. NOW. Before you forget to live...

There’s no place like home.

Friends. Let me tell you. Never underestimate the importance of having a place that’s yours to call home. Dorothy was totally onto something with those sparkly red shoes of hers. I’ve spent a lot of my adult life spending time at other people’s apartments. Mostly the boyfriend’s apartment. I always thought it was good that I was adaptable and it wasn’t a big deal that I didn’t spend much time in my own space and didn’t think it mattered too much that I still had roommates, but IT DOES. You guys, it really does. After everything I’ve been through, I FINALLY got my own apartment in February. My very own apartment with no roommates in sight and my own stuff all over everywhere.

In Act I of my epic relationship saga, my boyfriend and I decided not to get our own place and to stick with his roommates in his 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment, because it would be easier for us to save money to move out of the city and buy a house someday. We were waiting to live our dream life instead of making parts of it happen now. Or at least going for the right feeling even if the location wasn’t ultimately what we wanted for the future. I still believe this was the single biggest specific mistake of Act I and a huge factor that lead to The Intermission.

When I was on my own during The Intermission, I moved into a wonderful apartment with 2 wonderful dudes who were the BEST roommates I’ve ever had. While I’m very happy I had that experience with them, and it was amazing having friends around when I needed them, now that I have my own place, all I can say is, I WISH I HAD DONE THIS SOONER. But, I definitely wouldn’t appreciate it so much if I hadn’t waited so long. I’m writing this post to you from my couch in my apartment, and couldn’t be happier about it.

So, for those of you who are questioning whether or not it matters to have your own special place to call home: IT. MATTERS. And it needs to feel special TO YOU. If you don’t get that giddy feeling every time you come home, you gotta make some changes. I do believe it’s possible to make changes to whatever space you’re currently in to make it feel like home. My friend Jenn is a MASTER at this. She’s also a master at party planning, gift giving, and overall awesomeness, but that’s another story (or 12). Hopefully someday she’ll start her own blog so I can direct you there to read more about her awesomeness, but until then, I’m just going to keep talking about her here. One of my favorite additions I picked up from her is CANDLES. She always has candles lit all over her apartment, and it makes it feel so much more inviting. I always feel wrapped in a cloud of comfort whenever I’m at her place, and now I feel the same at mine thanks to my own candles! Pillows, throw blankets, and wall hangings/art/photographs also make a huge difference here. Ooh, and one of my other favorite things about my apartment is my water glasses. Well, I guess they could hold other liquids, but pretty much all I put in them is water. If you love whatever vessel you’re drinking your water out of, you’re more likely to drink it. And we can never underestimate the importance of hydration. 😊

So. If you’re on the fence about splurging on your living space, or deciding whether or not to get rid of your roommates- DO. IT. Make the move and you’ll make the money happen. Visualize and write down what you want and meditate on it. I did this when I was looking for my apartment and I stumbled upon my journal entry of the list of what I wanted and it LITERALLY could have been a Street Easy listing for my apartment. Manifestation works, peeps. And it’s so, SO important to feel empowered in your own space. It’s a crazy world out there, and we all need our little slice of peace to call home.